my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
