I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
