How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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