Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
