so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
