I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
