I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
