In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
