You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
