You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i believe in u and ur pee
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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