You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
