At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
