White coat. Heels.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Farmville is her only friend.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
