i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
