Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
