I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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