community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
