i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
