About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I love having hate sex.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
