We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
