so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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