Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
