Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I currently don't understand fingers.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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