you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
