i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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