I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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