you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
