Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
do herpes really smell.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
