we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
