If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
