I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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