My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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