Well apparently he's into motor boating.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
