Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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