The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
