You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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