Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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