Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
