So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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