Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
