Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Let's get the cat blown out
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
