O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
