With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Randomize
