Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
