How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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