Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
