i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
