He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
