I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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