oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
