brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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